London Marathon #4: The One That Got Away

On April 27, 2016 By Girl Running CrazyIn General, Marathon Chat, Race Reports8 Comments

I got the feeling early on I wasn’t going to hold the pace. I just knew it. By the time mile 18 rolled around I had reduced myself to a walking break and everything felt a little fuzzy. Despite Chris telling me we could still make it, and quite literally pushing me along, I could feel the A plan, the B plan and the C plan slowly slipping away. The London Marathon dream was over and all I could do was simply finish.

The thing with the marathon is that it is unpredictable, and no matter how experienced you are, and how prepared you are for every eventuality you can control, there is still a lot you can’t control and you have to be a little lucky on the day for everything to go your way.

I’m not sure I could have been much more prepared for my 4th attempt at the London Marathon. I got a lot of things right, I felt good, and I knew I was in good shape, but something just didn’t quite go my way. Instead of bringing home a new shiny PB to be proud of, and the BQ I desperately wanted, I trundled over the finish line in 3 hours 53. Not a bad time I know, but it wasn’t the day I wanted and it wasn’t the race I’d trained for. It was, however, the race I got.

I met some of the Chasers at the tube station bright & early on Sunday morning but it wasn’t long before Alex had to leg it back home again to pick up his forgotten timing chip (ohhhh, Alex!!). We arrived in good time and I met Chris who had once again offered to pace me, despite having just run both Manchester and Brighton marathons in the last 2 weeks! Due to my poor pacing skills and self-doubt, I lept at this chance and was really pleased to be able to avoid the official pace groups (which get very busy) and have someone I knew by my side.

It was a perfect day for running, cool, dry and not too sunny. I had 4 plans, the A plan was to finish in under 3:35, the B plan was a guaranteed BQ and the C plan was a GFA, and the D plan was to never run a marathon ever again.

The start was crowded as usual but, as we were in a start pen further back than we wanted, there was a lot of weaving in and out of people and the first mile was slow. I tried not to panic and Chris stopped me tearing off at a silly pace to make up the difference. We soon settled into a good pace around 8mm, the crowds lined the streets, I saw Barry screaming at me at mile 6, and I remembered why I love the London Marathon so much!

Without Chris I most definitely would have ran the first few miles too fast so I just concentrated on following him. The weather stayed perfect and, apart from a brief spot of hail, it was dry and the sun wasn’t too warm when it did come out. Around mile 9/10 I had the distinct feeling I wasn’t going to keep up, I voiced my concerns but Chris wasn’t having any of it and we cracked on.

I saw Mum & Dad on the opposite side of the road around the half way point and my friends Rick & Merissa cheering very loudly. The Chasers were at mile 14.5, I was really looking forward to seeing them but for some reason I didn’t know they were there until we’d past.

By the time we were around mile 18 I had to stop and walk, I felt dizzy and all I remember was Chris saying ‘you’re better than this, come on’. I tried to negotiate some walking breaks and we agreed we’d have one at 20 miles but I didn’t even make it that far until I was walking again.

After that, everything is a bit hazy and it became a cycle of me stopping to walk, Chris giving me some tough love and pushing me on, and each mile rolling by. The Chasers were just after the 20 mile mark and there was no missing them this time, it was just what I needed! Run Dem Crew were at mile 21, who always deliver on support, and Mum & Dad at 22.5. I know there were other people out there shouting at me, sorry if I missed you!

I wasn’t feeling at all good, I felt sick and a bit out of it but I really couldn’t tell you why. Chris dutifully picked up water whenever I wanted it and offered non-stop encouragement, but I knew I wasn’t getting a BQ and was increasingly unlikely to get a PB. I tried to soak in the atmosphere that only the London Marathon offers, look at the sites and do as I was told, the miles were still ticking by.

With just 1km to go I still found myself walking and bumped into fellow Chaser Dorcas, she saw me walking and came back for me. We finished the Frankfurt Marathon in exactly the same time so she said we would finish this one together too! Plodding down the home straight, it was a 3:53 finish, a comfortable sub-4, but no where near what it should have been. I had executed a perfect D plan (no more marathons).

No BQ, no GFA and no PB. Gutted.

All I really wanted was to sit down, but sitting down on the finish line is often frowned upon, so, with Chris holding me up, I shuffled, and shuffled, and eventually made it to my bag and my parents.

Chris was, yet again, a total star. He said all the right things, pushed me when I needed it and was even the water boy! I think I would have easily come in a lot slower without him there, but he didn’t take any of my babbling, nonsensical crap and made sure I didn’t give up, I was all ready to have a little sit down on the side of the road at one point. I’m just sorry I couldn’t quite achieve this time, or do what I said I was going to do, sorry Chris!

I’m obviously disappointed with my performance, but I’m not nearly as upset as I thought I would be. Maybe it’s because I still got to run the London Marathon, and the London Marathon truly is the greatest marathon on earth, and I even got to run it with Chris.

I don’t know what went wrong, I was ready and I was prepared, I even had a personal pacer, but it just wasn’t to be. Right now I’m completely torn between:

Flying to Latvia in a couple of weeks to try again (perfect timing but I don’t speak the language)
Heading to Liverpool at the end of May (much closer, but not so perfect timing and I don’t speak the language)
Heading to Estonia in September for the last chance before Boston opens (more time to recover, but the thought of another marathon season makes me want to throw all my trainers away)
Honestly never running another marathon again (the best idea I’ve ever had but I’m going to need some new friends)

Even I don’t know what I’m going to do next but I’m definitely looking forward to a summer of shorter races and post run ciders in the sunshine!

When the taper brings nothing but self-doubt

On April 11, 2016 By Girl Running CrazyIn General, Marathon Chat4 Comments

There’s less than 2 weeks to go until the London Marathon. The day when the last 18 weeks of training are put to the test, the day when you realise if all the hard work and sacrifice was worth it, the day when you bask in glory…or crash and burn in a devastating fall from grace, the day when everyone else knows whether you succeeded, or whether you failed…

There’s less than 2 weeks to go until the London Marathon and that means it’s time for the taper to slowly chip away at every ounce of confidence you ever had.

5-Ways-to-Stop-Self-Doubt-in-its-Tracks

The taper’s a funny thing, you spend all winter looking forward to those 2/3 weeks at the end of your plan when the intensity drops back and the long runs look easy, but when it gets here it’s not quite as much fun as you thought. By the time the taper arrives you know it’s too late to change anything, there’s absolutely nothing more you can do to make yourself fitter, stronger, or faster except wind down, rest and eat well. It’s terrifying!

On Saturday I went for a Parkrun PB, I actually wanted more than a PB, I wanted a confidence boosting 21:59. Having gone to bed early, and dragging myself out in the pouring rain on a Saturday morning, I fell off the pace quickly and finished in a disappointing 22:23. Rubbish.

However, it was my 2nd best Parkrun time ever, and this time last year I could only dream of anything starting with a 22, surely that’s a positive thing and a sign that the hard work is paying off? So, this Saturday I’ll be trying again, one last shot at sub 22 before judgement day.

It’s difficult not to question every decision I’ve made over the last few weeks. Should I have picked up the pace a bit more in my long runs? Could I have tried just a bit harder in the Hampton Court half? Should I have pushed through the last 2k at track last week when my legs didn’t work rather than bowing out? Did I run too fast at tempo? Was 3 x 20 milers enough? Could I have done more, run further, tried harder???

Once you throw in the phantom injuries, imaginary niggles and overwhelming paranoia you realise the taper is anything but fun. You’re convinced you’re going to get sick from the snotty nosed teenager that just sneezed on you, or you’re going to accidentally fall off a bridge into the Thames and break your leg, or Snoopy, the crazy dog who lives down the road, is going to bite your arm off and tear you limb from limb. Convinced. (Snoopy really is a nutter you know).

I really don’t know what race day will bring this time. I do know that I’ve run more miles (yes, I’ve counted), and put in more effort (yes, I’ve calculated) than I have for any other marathon, but I really don’t know if I’ve done enough. I do know that I’m not ready for this taper, not ready at all.

And I don’t know if I can do it.

safe_image

Marathon Training: Feeling Good

On January 22, 2016 By Girl Running CrazyIn General2 Comments

It’s been about 2 months since I fell out of love with running and I would rather have stuck a pencil in my eye than put my trainers on and jog round London. However, I’ve always been a bit fickle and since then, I seem to have remembered exactly why I love running so much and I even rather enjoyed my run commute despite the -5 degrees temperature this week!

I think it was a slightly hazy time somewhere between the 4^th and 5^th cocktail at the Chaser Christmas party when I fell in love with running again. It was at this time when the ballot was drawn for the Chasers club places in the London Marathon and my name was the first name out! Of course, I missed the actual event having been in the toilet/at the bar/chatting about life with complete strangers/some or all of the above, which I was pretty gutted about, but I was SO EXCITED to get a place!

Since then, I’ve been firmly back in training for the last 5 weeks and, in a surprising turn of events, it actually seems to be going well… I’m not entirely sure what’s happened to me, or if I’ve simply been spurred on by the pretty punchy target I’ve set myself, but I’ve been running better than I have for a long time and it feels great!

New Year’s Day double Parkrun crew. A very muddy Wimbledon followed by a chilly Fulham!

Generally, I’ve learned that really high mileage plans don’t work for me. I’ve tried it, I got tired, I got injured, I resented having to go for a run, and, importantly, I did not run well on marathon day. 5 runs a week is enough for me, it allow me to run 40+ miles, do all my key sessions, a recovery run, and I still have time for a spinning class or 2 and my favourite Tuesday morning yoga class. I’m definitely not planning any 70 mile weeks any time soon!

Running just seems to be a bit easier at the moment, I’ve been doing my track sessions at an even, or progressive, pace without vomiting on the 400m line and I’ll even admit to possibly, maybe, enjoying it this week which I don’t think has ever happened before!

Tempo sessions have also been going well (ie I finish them without feeling like I’m going to drop dead) and I’m so happy to be running with Ruth again. Ruth and I used to run together a lot when we were training for the Rome Marathon, then she got quicker and I got slower and she became a little dot on the horizon. Ruth is still speedier than me but I enjoy chasing her, and the other speedy girls Jenna and Kristy, round a cold dark Battersea Park. Throw in some long runs at a pace I’m happy with and I’m actually feeling quite positive.

All I have to do now is keep it up for the next 13 weeks without getting injured, errrrm, should be fine if I go to yoga every week right…??

I hope your Spring marathon training is going well too!

Post long run coffee last Sunday

All’s Fair in the London Marathon Ballot…isn’t it?

On May 4, 2015November 10, 2015 By Girl Running CrazyIn General5 Comments

The London Marathon ballot opened today, as it does every year a week after the big day. But this time there has been a fairly significant change, instead of closing the ballot after 125,000 entries (which only takes a few hours), it will remain open for 5 whole days with no limit on entries.

If you thought your chances of getting in were slim before, they’ve just gone to near-on impossible. How many people will enter the ballot? 200k, 500k, more? Who knows, but I do know that the usual 1 in 7 chance has just been dramatically slashed.

VLM has come under fire in recent years for the way they operate the ballot system. They never announce the time the ballot will open, which means people stay up until the early hours, and it can already be closed by 10 or 11 in the morning. That’s all well and good if you’re able to do that but if you’re a shift worker, a nurse, a fireman, you can easily be left disappointed at the first hurdle. So I understand why a change has been made, and the new system is certainly fairer, but going from around an 8 hour window to 5 whole days is, in my opinion, a little excessive and a little silly.

I believe anyone can run a marathon, but I don’t believe everyone has the drive and commitment to make it happen, it’s a shit load of hard work. The problem is the ballot opens when everyone is still high on the smell of sweat and Lucozade and still moved by all the emotional success stories, they want to be a part of it.

Marathon day is glory day, and it certainly doesn’t come much more glorified than in London. But a marathon isn’t just 26.2 miles, far from it, a marathon is made of hundreds and hundreds of miles over months of training. It’s tough early morning runs, late night tempo and wet, windy long weekend miles. A marathon is made of everything you don’t see.

What I don’t think is fair, and I’m aware it may be controversial, is that there are people who are lucky enough to get ballot places but, when it comes down to it they aren’t prepared to make the sacrifices and put in the time and effort to do the training. I don’t subscribe to the ‘proper runner’ theory, if you run you’re a runner, and I’m definitely not not saying you need to finish in a super quick time, but I am saying you need to put an honest effort into the training and do the best you can to prepare, because there are thousands of people that are willing to do it.

Some people enter the ballot just for the hell of it. They make a half arsed effort to get to the start line because they didn’t want to give up Friday nights in the pub, or give up their warm bed on a freezing January morning, and the people that are willing to do that are left on the sidelines cheering them on. Is that fair? I don’t think so.

I know I’ve run London more than once, and yes maybe it is someone else’s turn, but I’m sad I’m unlikely to be running next year and I’m angry with myself for not trying harder to get a GFA place. There are many people that would say I made a half arsed effort with training this year, that’s why I wasn’t good enough and I’m back in the ballot, maybe it is fair after all.

Quite frankly it would be a lot easier to score a London Marathon place by becoming a Z list celebrity for doing something ridiculous than through the ballot. Screw it, where are the reality show applications? That might even be quite fun…