There’s just 4 sleeps to go until I run my 7th marathon. I’ve got a sore throat and I’m pretty sure my leg’s about to fall off.
No, really, I jogged, jogged round the block on Monday and there’s a new weird pokey unexplainable kind of pain in my dodgy leg….
Is it real? It feels real…it even made me limp a little yesterday. I’ve been doing all my lazy arse exercises, my foam roller is my new best friend and I’ve even been stretching after I run (I know, I don’t recognise me either). So what the hell is it and where has it come from all of a sudden??
I know what you’re thinking. The taper has got me. But I think your wrong, injury has set me back so much it doesn’t even feel like a taper so how can I be suffering taper madness? Exactly.
It’s also that time of year when the weather is changing and all the sickly types are starting to get, well, sick. Why does this mean that everyone INSISTS ON TOUCHING ME.
Do you have to give me a kiss on the cheek? Do you? We’ve had 38 meetings before and you’ve not felt the need to kiss me until this particular occasion when you’ve just had a coughing fit and have snot dripping down your nose. Thanks. Appreciated.
Don’t get me started shaking hands. What is that? Why do we need to shake hands? Will it really compromise our business relationship if our hands don’t touch? Can’t we just smile? Keep your gross germy hands safely in your pocket and…
If that wasn’t bad enough I have the added challenge of negotiating the rat race on a daily basis just so I can get to the place where all people insist on touching me.
Don’t get me wrong, being a Londoner is bloody brilliant, but you know what’s not bloody brilliant? Getting the tube to work. Packed full of germ infested, snotty, coughy, wheezy, sneezy commuters, tourists, children and even animals that are waiting in eager anticipation to invade my personal space just to spread their germs. I hate you all. WHHHAAAAAA
On top of all that it looks like there’s a storm coming. Of course there is. Of course there is.
If you have the pleasure of seeing me in the next few days I strongly suggest you approach with caution, keep a comfortable distance and bring copious amounts of Berocca, hand sanitiser, First Defence, chewable vitamin C and broccoli. Thank you please.